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Psychotropic Ink

Nowhere to Hide I’m pretty sure that Dennis Kucinich is…

Psychotropic Ink


"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest." ~ Denis Diderot

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Nowhere to Hide

I’m pretty sure that Dennis Kucinich is stalking me.


I mean, don’t quote me on that – I don’t want to end up in court defending myself against a libel and slander action – but still, I’m almost certain I could prove to a jury that I’m right about this.  To be honest, the real reason I don’t want to get sued by Dennis Kucinich for libel or slander is because I’m afraid that’s just the kind of crap he’d pull just to get into the same room as me.


This all started back in 2004, when I saw Dennis Kucinich speak here in Houston. I was co-chair of the county chapter of the Green Party at the time, but still, Kucinich spoke our language – stop the war, start a Department of Peace, um, be kind to animals… let’s see… don’t kick the elderly’s canes out from their wrinkled, crickety paws… Suffice it to say, it was a damn fine platform the man was talking.


So I gave the little dude fifty bucks.


I assume he put it to good use: platform shoes, or Noam Chomsky books, or maybe tin foil to cover his disproportionately enormous head and block, you know, the alien radio waves.  I considered it a damn fine investment at the time.


But then the fundraising phone calls started. They came from the Omaha, Nebraska (402) area code, which is where all of my extended family hails from, so I answered it.  The Kucinich campaign bastards fooled me with Omaha area codes three or four times before I labeled the number “Dennis Kucinich – Do Not Answer!”


And that was more than three years ago.


Then, this past December, the calls started again. And hell no, I didn’t answer it. I let it go to voicemail; I mean, c’mon, why should Dennis Kucinich get better treatment than my 84 year old grandmother or three unacknowledged illegitimate children? 


So I didn’t answer it, but still the calls came.  Every single day. 


Every single day, without fail!


A few weeks ago, I was walking down the street during my lunch break, just minding my own business, hoping to listen to the octogenarian dude on the corner play his tuneless acoustic guitar for a few minutes when a little elfin figure leapt out at me.  Big eyes, pointed ears, a smile from here to here: This was one weird looking itty bitty man.


“Hey, sir!”  The little man said with a grin, hopping from one foot to the other.  “Can I interest you in peace? Can I interest you in love and an end to corporate tyranny? I just need a couple bucks, if you got ‘em to spare…”


From that moment on, I’ve seen him everywhere.


Yep. Dennis Kucinich is stalking me. 


I’ve had it with loonies on the Left: I’m voting for former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel. At least he isn’t crazy…


  • Dennis Kucinich for President!!!
  • What the fuck has happened to Denis Kucinich? He's become... some other kind of creature than I remember from days of yore.
    • I liked him in 2004. I'm not paying a lot of attention this time, especially since it seems clear that a corporate democrat is going to win the election next year.

      Maybe his ginormous wife is having an ill effect on him...
  • i think you already know this...

    but i'm a huge dennis kucinich supporter, as well! i'd be honored to have him stalk me. :)

    (btw, that gravel video... WTF?! did you watch him during the youtube debates? poor guy makes a lot of sense but is just getting absolutely disrespected out there...)
    • Re: i think you already know this...

      I am apparently the only political junkie on earth who missed the youtube debate. Based on the other debates, though, Gravel seemed like a straight talker who was not attempting to sound presidential. he's the kid standing there saying that the emporer has no clothes...
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