Never Mind the Hall of Fame

"The king is gone but he's not forgotten/This is the story of Johnny Rotten" -- Neil Young

The Hypothesis: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a meaningless act of supreme egoism by an arrogant rich guy.

The Facts: Jan Wenner has been the editor of Rolling Stone Magazine since its inception in 1967. RS was at one time the journal of the revolution and is now a vehicle by which faceless twenty-something one hit wonders can appear half-dressed on the cover of a formerly major magazine (that makes me sound like an old coot myself, huh?). You'd think this would satisfy Jan, but oh no. Because old Jan is a megalomaniac who truly believes that HIS tastes are YOUR tastes in music.

But is there anyone who has the nerve to stand up to Jan's rewriting of rock history? Apparently. Sort of...

Artists are eligible for Wenner's Hall of Fame 25 years after they release their first record. Once voted in, they get together in a masturbatory ceremony at a hall in Pennsylvania that is partially funded by federal tax dollars.

Make no mistake, though: These are not the most important artists or the best artists of the past 25 years. These are Jan Wenner's favorite artists. And Jan has specific tastes. First off, no progressive rock artists, which means no Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Soft Machine, Robert Fripp, Yes, Brian Eno, no John Cale or Lou Reed solo. No Captain Beefheart, Moody Blues, or Van Halen. The Velvet Underground was eligible for close to ten years before they got in. Meanwhile, David Crosby and Paul McCartney are in multiple times(!). Oh, and Wenner awarded himself a Lifetime Achievement Award a couple years back. Nice.

Neil Young always promised he'd blow the lid off the whole sham if they ever inducted him. But once inducted, he cried at the podium. Van Morrison accepted the induction, but refused to show up, RSVP'ing "Not able to come. -- V" on a hotel napkin.

But this year, finally, someone has flat-out refused to be inducted. Unfortunately, it's the Sex Pistols, which means John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten). I'm no big fan of Lydon, but it's a start. It would be refreshing if more artists would refuse Jan Wenner's little taxpayer-funded fantasy. Lydon went so far as to issue an open, profanity-laced letter complaining about everything from Wenner himself to the $15,000 cost of just getting in the door at the ceremony.

So whom do you back when it comes to Wenner vs. Rotten? Well, Rotten, of you have any sense at all. Although, to be honest, Johnny might just be pissed that the Pistols have been eligible for about six years and were only now invited to the party.

When I get rich (hold your breath on that one), maybe I'll start my own little Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and tell you what YOU liked back in the 90's. For the record, YOU liked Nurse with Wound, Legendary Pink Dots, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, The Microphones, Neutral Milk Hotel, Aphex Twin, and quite a few others.

Don't believe me? Well, they're all going to be in my personal Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, so how could you doubt it?

Score one for old punks.

The Conclusion: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a meaningless act of supreme egoism by an arrogant rich guy.