Nowhere to Hide
I’m pretty sure that Dennis Kucinich is stalking me.
I mean, don’t quote me on that – I don’t want to end up in court defending myself against a libel and slander action – but still, I’m almost certain I could prove to a jury that I’m right about this. To be honest, the real reason I don’t want to get sued by Dennis Kucinich for libel or slander is because I’m afraid that’s just the kind of crap he’d pull just to get into the same room as me.
This all started back in 2004, when I saw Dennis Kucinich speak here in
So I gave the little dude fifty bucks.
I assume he put it to good use: platform shoes, or Noam Chomsky books, or maybe tin foil to cover his disproportionately enormous head and block, you know, the alien radio waves. I considered it a damn fine investment at the time.
But then the fundraising phone calls started. They came from the
And that was more than three years ago.
Then, this past December, the calls started again. And hell no, I didn’t answer it. I let it go to voicemail; I mean, c’mon, why should Dennis Kucinich get better treatment than my 84 year old grandmother or three unacknowledged illegitimate children?
So I didn’t answer it, but still the calls came. Every single day.
Every single day, without fail!
A few weeks ago, I was walking down the street during my lunch break, just minding my own business, hoping to listen to the octogenarian dude on the corner play his tuneless acoustic guitar for a few minutes when a little elfin figure leapt out at me. Big eyes, pointed ears, a smile from here to here: This was one weird looking itty bitty man.
“Hey, sir!” The little man said with a grin, hopping from one foot to the other. “Can I interest you in peace? Can I interest you in love and an end to corporate tyranny? I just need a couple bucks, if you got ‘em to spare…”
From that moment on, I’ve seen him everywhere.
Yep. Dennis Kucinich is stalking me.
I’ve had it with loonies on the Left: I’m voting for former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel. At least he isn’t crazy…